So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
