What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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