Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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