I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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