I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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