there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
