I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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