It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
