You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
