do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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