Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
