I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
