you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
