he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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