sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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