that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you didnt know i had herpes?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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