Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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