even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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