Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
