Me too!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
