girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
