the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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