I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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