what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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