Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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