Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
