A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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