is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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