she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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