Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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