Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
organizing the empties. That sober.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
