Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize