oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
