At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
