quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
