last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I skipped work to stalk him.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
