ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
