Your face is a jimmy john
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
