he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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