Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
