my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
