Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
