please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
