I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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