It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
