It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
