Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
