just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
