I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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