if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
