Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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