i just google imaged poop.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
