If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
